Why are you doing this to us?
I'm not gonna kill him.
I can't!
Some people are casual gamblers.
They just enjoy the occasional flutter.
For me, it's about playing the odds,
taking a calculated risk.
Morning. It lives.
Barely.
I take it we didn't win.
If we'd have won, I would've woke you.
So who won? Magnetic Moll.
Top of the head, nine to four.
Well, let's hope you have some better luck tonight.
- It's not luck. It's a science. - Whatever you say, dear.
Oh, fuckin' hell!
What's wrong? What have you done?
I feel I've cracked a tooth.
Well, you shouldn't read and eat, should you?
Can we sue 'em?
There's a disclaimer on the box,
and the apple's blue to stop idiots eating it.
Got a new client the other day. He's a dentist. You should go and see him.
- You know I hate going to the dentist. - Stop moaning. Just go see him.
I'll call you later. All right?
All right. Bye.
11:37 AM. I've got bets on dogs across the country.
Southern Terry, Here Today, Contact Man, Baron Dom and Magic Christian,
all to win.
12:10. Fourth, third, sixth and second.
Down another 250. Tooth feels like it's been split in half.
One last chance.
12:15. Photo finish.
Second.
What I need now is a good tip.
This way, Mr. Marlowe.
Oh.
First time's a charm.
Nancy, would you prepare the GIC?
Thanks.
I don't think that should take too much to fix.
You into dog racing then?
As a matter of fact, I am. Why? You a greyhound man yourself?
Yeah, I, uh, enjoy the occasional flutter every now and then.
Well, I have two passions in my life...
dentistry and dogs.
Or canines and canines.
So to speak.
Funny.
No, my practice affords us...
a small but, if I may say so, successful kennel.
You can always tell our dogs because...
we've named them after teeth.
We have The Incisor. We have Lower Molar.
Come to think of it, we have a young bitch running tonight...
named after the very tooth you damaged...
Upper Wisdom. Really?
- She worth a go then? - I'd say. Go ahead and rinse.
She's drawn the inside.
Nothing'll catch her.
And there it was.
A tip straight from the dentist's mouth.
How could I possibly ignore that?
All right, John. Thanks, mate.
There's only one place you can make the most of a good tip.
That's the track. That's where you'll find the serious money.
All right, John? Evenin', fellas.
All right, John? Terry.
All right. What you reckon?
No, mate, it's a mutt. No stamina over that distance. Fair enough.
Whereas that is a much better dog than they're letting on.
In fact, I'm gonna have a piece of that. Nice one.
All right, Zaf, mate. What you doin' on the five dog in the 8:30?
I'll do you six to four. Yeah, go on.
There you go.
Thanks, mate.
You all right, John? Usual? Yeah.
Busy night, innit? Yeah. Can't complain, mate.
Adrian's upstairs.
No, you're all right.
Yes, mate?
Told ya. Yeah. Cheers, mate.
"Friends and relatives in the world of show biz were shocked and distressed yesterday... "
Don't start.
"by the sudden death of the comedian Hank Hardy, who passed away on Tuesday. "
Hank Hardy. You're fucking kidding me.
Basic rule of having a death pool... never choose the pope.
It's a novice's mistake, John.
I'm surprised at you.
Well, you're not getting paid now. All my money's tied up.
Charming.
Well, shall we adjourn to the track?
Form please, Wagner!
In the 7:30 dog six is the favorite.
He's not very good in the wet. There's gonna be five dogs.
This race is classed as a grade-A4 race.
If you look at the form, he's doing way better...
What the fuck is that? What's what?
That's Stan's spot. What's she done with Stan?
- She's better looking than Stan. - I've run things over that are better looking than Stan.
I'll go and investigate, shall I?
The dogs are out now for our fourth race on the race card.
It's the 8:15... Danny Chapman and Wedding Stakes.
Distance tonight is 480 meters and is classed as a grade-A2 race.
All right?
Where's Stan?
What?
- I said, where's Stan? - I'm Stan.
No, Stan was fat and bald,
and you're... you're neither of those things.
I'm the new Stan.
So where's the old Stan?
He had some, uh, bad luck.
All right, what are you, uh... what are you doing on Upper Wisdom?
- Do you tens. - Yeah, all right. I'll have some of that.
Eight hundred to win.
I'm John.
I'll have number two dog, please.
Isn't Stan a bit of an odd name for a woman?
Considering your name means "toilet," I don't think you're one to judge.
What you doing on trap five?
Do you fours.
Won't be too long till they're off now.
- So? - What was she like?
Well, she's American, and that's Stan.
That's not Stan. Stan was fat and bald. That's what I said.
But that's the new Stan, and she's offering tens on Upper Wisdom...
when everyone else was offering nines.
- You can't argue with that, can you? - Upper Wisdom? You're mad!
- She's got no form. - What, at tens, mate?
I hate those printed receipts.
All the fucking poetry's been drained out of this sport.
Here we go.
Away they go!
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh, look out!
Come on. Come on.
Fuckin' hell. £8,000.
Number two, Lover's Charm.
You could at least have the decency to gloat, rub it in a bit.
Come on. We would.
8,000, plus your stake... £8,800.
Fuck me. Look at all that money.
I almost feel guilty taking this much off of you.
- Could always give it back. No, you're all right.
Come on then.
Least you can do is buy us all a curry. Yeah, why not?
Thanks.
Gonna buy me one too?
I mean, you did take all my money.
It doesn't seem right, a woman being a bookie.
Why not? It isn't natural.
Actually, it's a wonderful thing.
All I do is bat my eyelashes and I take double the money of any other bookie.
I wouldn't bet with someone just 'cause they were a woman.
Yes, you would.
Yeah. Yeah, I probably would, yeah.
Who's the lucky girl?
Uh, that's Helen. She's, uh... She's great.
Gonna treat her to something nice with your winnings?
Yeah, of course.
Have to keep the little lady happy, huh?
But the whole point is that the injury has to be caused by negligence.
So? Negligence by your employer.
We have to prove it was their fault. Then we can claim compensation.
Mmm.
You've already stated that at lunchtime you drank in excess of nine pints of lager...
and that your fall was "almost certainly a result of your 'intoxification'."
So how exactly is that negligence by your employer?
They shouldn't have asked me to do any work in that state. I was hammered.
Where were you last night?
I'm sorry, love.
Things got a bit stupid, and I ended up on Adrian's couch.
Oh, I see. With Wagner.
Promise.
I've got something to show you. Follow me.
Just look into my eyes. Follow me.
Don't trip off the curb. And sniff the roses.
What's all this? How much did we win?
It doesn't matter. Yes, it does. You know the rules.
Always tell Helen the truth.
So, how much?
Keep the change.
What?
"Congratulations, John. Hope you like champagne.
Enjoy yourself. Stan. "
Who's Stan?
It's the bookie I took to the cleaners.
So, why is he sending you gifts?
She. Stan's a woman.
And I've no idea.
So, you've been hanging about with strange women, have you?
Should I be worried?
- No. She's fat and bald. - Ha!
Hey, I'm not kidding. She is.
We could go somewhere hot.
Yeah? Look at that.
Looks like the Cook Islands.
Where is that again? I've no idea.
I just saw it on TV once.
Can we afford that?
Yeah. Yeah, I reckon we can.
What?
What is this?
This is the reason we're celebrating.
You don't recognize it? No.
Yesterday morning. Breakfast.
This is that plastic apple?
Yeah. And now it's gold.
It's a genuine lucky charm.
"Won at football, but lost a packet on the horses.
I don't think the foreign ones run the same as British horses. See you all soon. John. "
- Isn't that nice? - Mmm.
Bad luck again, huh?
Hello, stranger.
- All right? - All right. Your card arrived this morning.
- Yeah? - You're not very brown.
Well, I'm not really the sunbathing type. What you doing on trap five?
- I'll do you sixes. - Go on then.
- Is that all you got left? - Don't start.
- Thought my luck was out. - Your luck's never been in, mate.
They're off!
I really thought that three dog at the end was gonna do it.
I could have told you that dog was going nowhere.
- Why didn't you then? - 'Cause I'm a bookie, you moron.
Can't believe how skint I am.
Mmm. Me too.
Did you ever think of doing something other than the dogs?
What do you mean?
We like the dogs.
Yeah. We go for the atmosphere as well, you know.
- Yeah, the dogs are what we know best. - - Mmm.
Well, you know yourselves, don't you?
- Meaning? - Meaning, would you bet on yourself?
I'm lost.
Do you know what this is?
It's the wonderfully named ghost chili.
Hottest chili known to man.
So?
So, I'm willing to bet that one of you can't eat the whole thing...
without crying or drinking water.
What kind of a bet is that?
The kind of bet I like to make.
You can count me out.
My tooth's giving me enough trouble as it is.
How much?
200 pounds.
- What if we lose? - Normally we'd agree to a stake.
But tonight I'll waive it.
Chilies want to be eaten so their seed can be spread.
But they want it to be spread far and wide,
so it's no good if it's eaten by a lazy mammal.
No, what a chili wants is to be eaten by a bird, and it will be...
because birds don't have taste buds.
Mammals, on the other hand, do, and that's how we know you're a mammal.
Shame.
- Really thought you were gonna do it.
That's when I should have walked away from her.
But I love a challenge.
Narrator ] The female lays her eggs in the shallows.
Next, the male releases a cloud of sperm in the water.
We've all done that, eh?
Dad. Sorry, love.
Go on, Freddie. Switch over. Draw's about to start.
Eh? I don't know.
Not so long ago someone was giving me a bloody lecture...
about how the lottery was, uh, just a tax on the poor, the soft and the bloody desperate.
I wonder who that could be. Yeah, well, you know how it is.
Announcer ] Good luck, everybody. What happened to your big win?
It's long gone.
Since then I've had nothing. Not a sniff.
Next, after six weeks, it's number 18. Second time in the last month...
- Fuckin' hell. - What's the matter with you?
I think that dentist was better at giving tips than fixing teeth.
You'd better ask him for another bloody tip then.
I'm gonna have to go see him. This is killing me.
One. None. None.
I'll call you, Dad. See you later.
Don't forget to take your pills. All right, love.
See ya, Freddie. Good night, John. Good night, love.
Hello, John. What a surprise.
What are you doing here?
One of the paradoxes of being a bookie is that when I'm doing well,
my friends must be doing badly.
The dentist wasn't a very good gambler.
Yeah, well, he was a terrible dentist.
So what? You own this place now?
It's amazing the things you can win in a bet, huh?
Yeah, well, I'm in agony. So what am I gonna do?
Why don't you start by walking me home?
Are you coming?
Did you win this as well?
Not everybody gets invited here, John.
What's all this?
Don't you watch the news?
Forty-two children held hostage by a 300-pound disgruntled janitor...
with an AK-47.
For them, it's a tragedy. For others, it's an opportunity.
I don't follow.
Currently taking spread bets on the number of children that get shot,
the number that get out alive,
how many hours the whole thing goes on for, that sort of thing.
That's sick, Stan.
It's a sick world, John.
How's that tooth?
It really hurts.
Only feels like it's hanging on by a thread.
Really?
Think you could pull it out yourself?
What?
Would you pull your tooth out yourself right now?
No. Don't be silly. I'm not pulling my tooth out.
Not even for £1,000?
No. That's stupid.
Okay. Make it 2,000.
What's it to be, John?
Are you a serious gambler or just an amateur who can't handle a little pain?
What would the stake have to be?
I don't know. What's that round your neck?
What, this?
It's just my lucky charm.
That'll do perfectly.
So what do you say?
I bet you £2,000...
that you can't pull your tooth out right now.
You're on.
Oh, fucking hell!
This is ridiculous.
It's £2,000, John.
Fuck!
Maybe it's not as damaged as they thought. No, I'll... I'll get it.
Just give me a minute.
Oh, fuck!
Well done, John. Well done.
Now, on these special bets, there are just three little rules I need to go over.
Rules? Yes.
These bets, they stay private between us.
You don't tell Adrian or Wagner.
Especially not your wife.
But I don't lie to Helen.
So don't think of it as lying. Think of it as being economical with the truth.
- Go on. - I pick the stake.
Okay.
And you cheat on a bet, you lose. Understand?
Yeah. Got it.
Don't you want your tooth?
No, you're all right. Keep it.
Fucking hell.
Fuck.
Hello, John. This is unexpected, eh? Everything all right?
Yeah, yeah. No, everything's fine, Freddie.
I just came to give you this. Don't piss it away.
- I don't understand, lad. - You told me to go back to the dentist.
He gave you a winning tip? Yeah, sort of.
Well, I'm up again.
Come down the track with me and celebrate.
No, I'm fine. But you go and have a good time.
Well, thanks for that. You sure?
Yeah. Good night.
All right? All right.
So what have you gone for?
He's not telling.
What do you mean, he's not telling?
He's not telling anyone what he's bet on. He's decided it's unlucky.
That didn't work, did it?
Eighty on the six dog.
Go! Come on!
Come on!
But it wasn't just Adrian's luck that was out.
I couldn't pick a winner to save my life.
Sixty on the three dog.
Night after night.
Race after race.
I'd never seen anything like it.
None of us had.
Taking a beating again tonight.
We all are.
Might as well rip up the form book and just go with the one with the best name.
I thought that's how you usually bet.
- At least I don't get money from my mother to come down here. - She asked me to bet for her.
Yeah, she'd do anything to get you out the house.
- Don't you say anything about my mother. - Or what, chili boy? Huh?
Or what?
Jesus, what the fuck have you done? Where's all your hair gone?
If you must know, my cousin's learning hairdressing,
and she needed a model, and, well,
she's got a lot to learn.
Shut it, the pair of you.
It's all right, mate. It's all right. Keep your hair on.
Fuck off.
What can I say? That last race was so close.
Uh, yeah.
Look, I was wondering if we could, um, do one of those other bets.
Are you sure that's what you want?
Well, any chance of doing something a lot less painful than pulling a tooth out.
There's all different kinds of pain.
Question is, what can you put up as a stake?
Well, I've been thinking about that.
What about my car?
I mean, it's not great, but it's taxed till the end of the year and it runs okay.
No. Don't really want a car. Thanks though.
I want something a little more personal.
Something that actually has some value to it.
Know what I mean?
Not really, no.
What sort of things did you get as wedding gifts?
Wedding gifts? Against a week in the bathroom?
Now that was the kind of bet I could win.
John?
Good morning, John.
Come down and let us in.
You don't catch me out that easy.
Hang on.
Bruno here is gonna make me a copy of your key...
so I can come around and check on you.
- Well, I... - Don't worry. I'll give it back when the bet's done.
I'm gonna use your toilet.
So, how's it been so far?
Oh, you know, just, uh, dandy, Stan.
Up until now, that is.
Yeah, sorry. He could use some work on his social skills.
Don't worry.
Nearly done.
Fucking hell.
You're still here. Do you want me to ring the doctor?
No, it's all right.
So get out the bathroom then.
- I can't. - Why not? I thought you were better.
Well, I just can't. It's, uh... It's my stomach.
So let me ring the doctor.
No. It's all right, love. I've just got the shits.
I'll be back late. Don't wait up.
- Watch it. You'll break a window. - Where have you been?
Well, I've been sick.
So?
- You coming to the track tonight then or what? - No, I can't. I told you.
Helen doesn't think you're that sick.
Well, I am.
Ah, please yourself.
Hello, John.
How the fuck did you get in here?
I've got a key. Remember? Just here to see how you're doing.
Well, I'm going mental, Stan. That's how I'm doing.
Did you really think sitting here for a whole week would be that easy?
- You could give up if you want. - No, you're all right.
I'm halfway through this one and I'm gonna win it.
Mmm.
Well, I'm bored. How about a side bet? Spice things up a bit.
All right. What do you have in mind?
What about we get you out of these stinky clothes?
Stan, I'm a married man.
I don't wanna see you naked.
I wanna dress you up.
Fuck off.
Come on. Just a little role-play. No. No way. No.
Extra 500?
John?
Have you seen the fruit bowl?
You know, the nice one Mum got us for the wedding?
John?
I said, have you seen the fruit bowl?
You know, the nice one Mum got us for the wedding.
What the hell have you done?
It's Wagner.
He was here this afternoon with his cousin.
His cousin? Yeah. She's, uh...
She's doing her NVQ or HND or whatever the fuck it is in styling.
And she needed another mug to practice on.
Well, the poor girl hasn't got a clue, obviously.
Wagner hasn't got a cousin.
- I don't know what's going on, but I don't like this. - Nothing's going on. Honest.
- If you're lying to me... - I'm not lying to you. I've been really sick, Helen.
Just get out of my dress...
and get out of the bloody bathroom.
No, Helen, wait.
Shit.
Don't worry. She stepped out.
You know, I'm impressed with you.
You did really well.
Here's the lovely fruit bowl Helen's mother gave you.
The 2,000, plus 500 for the makeover.
Now this bet's not due to finish until midnight,
but I have another rather pressing engagement.
So I'm gonna trust you to stay here for four more hours.
Not gonna cheat now, are you, John?
No. Course not.
I mean, I've got tons to do anyway. Look at this place. It's a mess.
How are you finding all the lying?
What lying? I'm not lying.
Very good.
You're a natural.
She was right. I was a natural.
And if I could win this, think how much more I could take her for.
Hello?
Hey. Pavlin, Freddie?
Thanks.
Thank God. What happened?
He hadn't taken his pills.
I'd only just picked up his new prescription, but he couldn't find them.
God knows what he's done with them.
Oh, shit.
I-I'll be two seconds.
Evening, John. Where are you?
- I'm in the bathroom, like I said I'd be. - I'm sure you could prove it.
Well, uh, yeah. Of course I can.
Go and flush the toilet.
Do what? Go and flush the toilet.
Just to prove that you're still in the bathroom.
Well, yeah, just give me a minute. Let me get out the bath.
There. You happy now?
Thanks, John.
That's all I needed.
Oh, before I go, a bit of advice.
Don't take Adrian's killer tip. That dog will lose.
Adrian's killer tip? What dog?
Stan? Stan?
He will be all right, won't he?
Yeah. Come on. Freddie's tough. He'll be fine.
I didn't recognize him lying there.
I've never seen him so still.
I've never seen him so quiet.
I know. He can be a gobshite.
Yes, he's opinionated.
When I was young, he used to take me down the track.
He was always arguing with the bookies and getting thrown out.
Yeah.
Good memories.
Not all of them.
That life took everything he had,
and now he's just stuck in that room.
I don't want it to happen to us.
No, don't be silly. It won't.
It can't.
Remember when we got married and...
you promised you'd always be honest with me.
You swore that.
Yeah, I know.
So... what was going on with the bathroom?
I just felt rotten all week.
Honest.
Hey. You just have to trust me.
Shit.
I was looking for that. Where was it?
Uh, yeah, babes.
I had to use it to be sick in.
Sorry.
Lucky Trap. You what?
Lucky Trap.
It's Adrian's new thing.
Not telling anyone didn't work, so now he's telling everyone. See if that changes his luck.
Well, I'm sharing the love around, ain't I?
What did you get Lucky Trap at? Six to one.
You missed out then. Stan's offering seven to one now.
Didn't bet with Stan. That's the next thing.
We're betting ABS.
What the fuck is ABS? Anyone But Stan.
Something's gotta break this losing streak.
Don't forget. Lucky Trap.
I'm telling you, it's the best tip I've had in ages. It's a killer.
Evening, John. So what's it gonna be?
You know what?
Think I'll give it a miss.
Smart choice.
Lucky Trap.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
- It's all right, Ade. It's not your fault. - It was a good tip.
I am so broke.
I put everything on that dog.
Now I can't even afford a fucking pint.
- What are we gonna do? - - I can always lend you a bit.
Tide you over if you want.
How come you got money left?
I didn't bet on Lucky Trap.
What? What did you bet on then?
Nothing.
You didn't bet on anything? Why not?
Stan told me not to.
What?
Well, she told me not to take your tip, mate.
Did she tell you the dog would lose?
Yeah, she told me.
What, and you didn't say anything?
You just let us come out here like a pack of twats and lose it.
- You wouldn't have listened if I told you Stan said it. - But that's not the point.
What is the fucking point? You just don't get it, do you?
It used to be the three of us, but now it's just all about you and Stan.
Oh, come on, Ade, mate. It's not like that. Yes, it is!
That's exactly what it's fucking well like.
It's not about us anymore.
It's just all about her.
I've had enough. Stop the car.
- What? - Come on, Ade. I'm sorry.
Stop the fucking car! Fucking hell.
Adrian, mate. Where are you going?
You disgust me. I'd rather walk.
Adrian!
- Fuck's sake. - Leave him.
Why didn't you say something? 'Cause I know what he's like.
And 'cause he's right.
You should've told us.
All we can do now is let him walk it off.
He'll be back in the morning.
That was the last time I ever saw Adrian alive.
Police reckon he wandered for about half a mile or so until he got to the station.
There was no waiting room, no toilet.
Reckon he went for a piss.
It's funny how one minute you're sitting in the car with someone,
and the next they're gone.
Can't believe he's actually in here.
Not much to show for a life, is it?
It's what you call the origin of the phrase "cleaned out. "
What do you mean, "cleaned out"?
You know.
You know he wasn't just betting on the dogs.
What do you mean?
Come off it, John.
I haven't got a cousin learning hairdressing. You know that.
Mate, we shouldn't be talking about this.
Why not? 'Cause of the rules?
Well... Well, fuck the rules.
Adrian's dead.
I've had it with Stan.
Mate, it hasn't got anything to do with Stan.
You can't talk about her like that.
Can't I?
Maybe we just haven't got to that stage with her yet.
It was an accident.
That's what the police said. Right?
I'm not convinced.
She's odd, yes.
She's not gonna kill someone.
I've had enough of her stupid bets.
I didn't hear you come in. Ah.
- How was it? - You know. It was never gonna be a bundle of laughs.
Come here.
I'm so sorry.
I feel awful going out and leaving you here.
Are you sure you don't want me to stay?
No. No, go out. Have some fun.
Go see the girls.
You sure? Yeah.
Yeah, I might go down the track later. It's what he would have wanted.
You do that.
Okay.
Have fun.
Stan?
Hello?
Stan?
Who the fuck are you?
John. Who the fuck are you?
Raymond.
If this is another test, you can piss right off.
I'm not budging. Not now.
No. No.
I was looking for Stan.
The front door was open.
You're not trying to make me move?
Honest.
What are you doing?
I'm not meant to discuss it.
So it's a bet?
Jesus. Are you sitting on an egg?
Of course. Why else would I be on a tossing nest?
You've got to hatch it, haven't you?
Yeah.
What is it?
Ostrich.
So why are you making chicken noises?
Well, do you know what a fucking ostrich sounds like?
I'll do anything to hurry it up.
How long does it take?
Average incubation period is 42 days.
Forty-two days? How long have you been on it?
Thirty-seven.
And I'm going insane. I've got piles.
She won't even give me a book to read.
I just sit and cluck and knit.
What are you knitting?
A hare.
You know, for the dogs.
It's nice.
Look, I don't know why you're here,
but take my advice and walk right now.
Don't look back.
She doesn't care about money.
She just wants to ruin your life.
While I'm here on this egg,
my wife's giving birth to our first kid.
I'm missing all that.
And Stan loves it.
I'm warning you.
She'll suck the life out of you.
She's back.
Get out.
Get out and shut the door.
- Why? - Go. Fuck off.
I'm not supposed to see anybody.
Go on. Fuck off.
Fuck off!
Hello, John. Make yourself at home.
I-I'm sorry. The, uh... The front door was open.
You know, everyone thought this siege would be over by now.
Not me.
Cleaning up now.
So, how are you, John?
I've been better.
Take it you know about Adrian.
No.
Honestly, you haven't heard?
No. No. What happened?
We had an argument coming back from the track,
after that dog you said would lose did.
There was an accident, and now he's dead.
So if you want to know how I am, Stan, I'm a bit gutted.
It's a shame.
What...
Maybe you need something to take your mind off of it.
I need five grand, Stan.
You know, money never made anyone happy.
What would I have to do?
Has to be something special.
Go on.
I bet I could make you kiss me.
Is that all?
Yeah. That's all.
Well, how long would I have to resist you?
Five minutes should do it.
What, I don't kiss you for five minutes, and you're gonna give me five grand?
Obviously the stake has to be something meaningful.
Hello, John.
What are you doing with my fish?
I popped round to give you your key back.
And I saw the fish, so I thought I'd bring them along.
Why?
So? How about it, John?
Oh, no way. They're Helen's.
I mean, she loves those fish. I can't. No.
One fish. Five thousand against one tiny goldfish.
I don't see how you could lose.
Deal?
Deal.
Okay. Ready?
Look at me, John.
Just look at me.
You get me, John.
Now kiss me.
You held out longer than most.
Good effort. What...
However, we did have a deal.
Bruno, take your pick.
No, Bruno. Wait. No! Wait.
Better luck next time.
Be seeing you around, John.
Shh.
What's up? I got your message.
There's something we need to talk about.
What is it?
Well, I was gonna tell you tonight, but I decided it couldn't wait.
So tell me.
Well, maybe we haven't been as careful as we could have been.
What do you mean?
I'm pregnant.
You're what?
We're gonna have a baby.
Oh, my God.
Is that... good?
Is that good? It's more than good. It's amazing.
It's the greatest thing in the whole world ever. I'm gonna be a father.
I'll have to give up work for a while.
Oh, my God. Y...
Look, I've been thinking anyway, you know,
maybe it's time I got a proper job.
Something with a bit more of a steady income.
Make sure it pays well.
I quite enjoy our luxuries every now and again.
Yeah, I know, but I'm gonna be a father.
Maybe I should take a bit more responsibility.
Oh, God. I've gotta get back.
Don't want 'em to sack me, not now.
You have just made me the happiest man in the world.
That's what you said when I married you.
You've just done it again.
Oh. When I left this morning, Leo was missing.
Yeah, babes. I meant to tell you about that.
Uh, when I came in last night,
found him floating on top of the bowl.
What did you do with him?
Gave him a traditional fish funeral.
Flushed him down the loo.
Poor Kate. She'll be lonely now.
It's all right. I'll get you another one.
Careful.
She's upstairs.
Last door on the right.
Look, before you say a word, I don't want to speak about yesterday.
My lips are sealed.
I wanna do one final bet, Stan.
- Oh, really? - Yeah. One last bet, and then that's it.
I'm out. I'm done. I'm finished with the life. I've had enough.
You sound like a man transformed.
Well, I am.
Impending fatherhood will do that.
Wait a minute. How'd you know...
Women can sense these things, John.
I just want one last win.
A proper amount. Something I can use to make a clean break.
How much did you have in mind?
Fifty grand.
That's a lot of money, John.
Yeah, I know. So what do you reckon?
Oh, I have something really special for you tonight.
John, I'd like you to meet Gail.
John, Gail. Gail, John.
Take a seat, John.
Gail here is a doctor.
Tell John what kind of doctor you are, Gail.
My PhD is in biological tissue engineering.
She is also a professional gambler.
Not a very good one, are you, Gail?
No, Stan.
Mmm. Thought she could work a nice betting system through mathematics.
Now she owes me a favor.
This all clear so far?
Crystal, Stan.
Gail, maybe you'd like to explain the bet.
Basically, I do research in creating new parts...
for people who have been in an accident and may have lost something.
So that instead of transplanting from a donor,
we can just grow it from scratch.
Well, that's great. But what's the bet?
Up till now, we've used mice.
You might have seen a picture of a mouse with an ear growing on its back.
That's my department.
Well, your parents must be very proud of you, Gail.
But what's the bet?
To substitute you for the mouse.
You what?
We want to grow an ear on you.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
What are you talking about, you want to grow an ear on me?
Really, it's quite safe.
Just a local anesthetic and a tiny little incision.
No. I'm not gonna let you grow an ear on me. You're insane.
Once it grows, we'll take it right off. You won't even have a scar.
No!
There's nothing to be scared of.
I'm not doing it. It's ridiculous.
Oh, fucking hell.
You wanted the money.
What would the stake have to be?
That's a good question.
- Have to be a little more substantial than a goldfish. - Yeah, I figured.
How about your wedding ring?
No way. No.
That's what I want. Come on, John.
50,000 for a little ear to grow.
No, I can't.
Get that fucking thing out of here!
Fucking ostrich.
So, the bet. On or off?
It's on.
Gail, get your equipment ready.
You know you would have done the same.
Fifty grand, Freddie.
Can't turn that down.
Not on a surefire winner like this.
Tell me I'm right. After this one, I'm walking away. I promise you.
Even though I love your daughter,
you know I don't want to lie to her about this, but fucking hell, Freddie.
£50,000.
I can't turn that down.
You wouldn't.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I just popped in.
Have a word with the old bugger, you know?
See how he is. Tell him about his grandson.
What's this?
Where'd you get that from?
Who gives a fuck where it came from? Look at it.
Yeah, I know it looks bad,
but there's a perfectly good reason for this.
I'm guessing that's Stan.
- It was for a bet. - And did you win?
No. That's the worst bit.
So, what was the bet? That you couldn't kiss her?
Well, yeah.
And you couldn't even manage to win that?
No, I... It wasn't like that.
I don't... I don't know what happened to me.
All the time we've been together, I've said one thing:
You tell me the truth, John.
That's all I've ever asked of you. And you failed.
You've been lying, cheating, seeing people behind my back.
It wasn't like that. It was just a bet.
It's all just a game to you, isn't it? It's all just a laugh.
No, no. Helen. These were proper bets.
I won good money. We won good money.
That's just what I remember my dad telling my mum.
My baby's not having the childhood I had.
It's over, John.
What do you mean?
Us.
You lied to me, and now it's over.
Give me your keys.
Don't be daft.
Give me your keys.
Helen.
Keys.
Where's your wedding ring?
Oh, shit. Now, that needs an explanation.
Your wedding ring, John. Your wedding ring.
- W... - Does nothing have any meaning for you?
No. H-Helen. Look.
- You see that? This is gonna win us £50,000. - Jesus. What have you done?
- I did it for us. - You're scaring me.
No, Helen, wait. Wait!
Shit.
Oh, come on.
Helen!
Helen, please let me in.
Helen, come on, love.
Oh, fucking hell. Helen...
Helen, please. We need to talk about this.
I've been... I'm sorry.
She doesn't wanna see you, John. Can't you just tell her I wanna talk to her?
Yeah, I've told her. I've told her every single time you've asked me to ask her,
and she still says the same.
She doesn't wanna speak to you. Helen.
So you might as well go home. I can't go home, can I, 'cause she's locked me out.
You can't hang around here all day.
I'm gonna tell you this one last time.
I don't want to speak to you. I don't want to see you.
I don't want anything more to do with you. Is that simple enough for you?
- Helen, I'm sorry. Please. - Too late.
Can't we just talk about it? No.
There's nothing more to talk about.
Helen, wait. Look, I know I've done some pretty fucking stupid things,
and I can't tell you how sorry I am.
But I promise you, I promise things will be different from now on.
You come here and try and apologize...
and you haven't even got the decency to put your wedding ring back on.
Oh, fucking hell, Helen. How dare you?
Get this into your thick head. It's over.
We're over. Leave me alone. We're done.
Stan?
Where's Stan? Not here.
So where is she? I need to see her.
She's got a new place.
Putting on some races of her own.
What are you talking about?
She'll be there this evening.
You just saved my life.
John. Just in time.
Come take a seat and have some dinner.
No, that's all right. I'm not hungry. Mmm.
How's your ear doing?
It's kind of what I've come to see you about.
Suits you, John. You should keep it.
So tender. Best ostrich I've ever had.
Seriously, you should try some.
Stan, I need to talk to you.
So talk.
Well, it's about the bet. What about the bet?
Well, I got a bit carried away. I should never have put my wedding ring up as a stake.
Oh, no? No.
So, look, I was wondering if we could just cancel the bet.
You know, forget the money, forget everything.
Just give me back my wedding ring and call it quits.
No.
What do you mean, "no"?
A bet's a bet, John.
Come on, Stan. Have a heart. We're talking about my marriage here.
Which is up shit creek 'cause you sent a fucking picture to Helen.
And why would you do that?
- Actually, that wasn't me. That was Bruno. - Yeah, but why?
Why do you think?
- It was a bet. - Exactly.
And a bet's a bet.
You agreed to it. I agreed to it.
You knew the risk you were taking, John,
and you have to follow a bet through to the end.
Adrian knew that.
What do you mean, Adrian knew?
Oh, my God. You did kill Adrian.
No. Electricity killed Adrian. Greed killed Adrian.
I just gave him good odds.
Wagner was right.
"Wagner was right. "
Oh. Look at the time. I think you're gonna enjoy this.
Is that Wagner?
What the fuck is going on?
You're just in time for the first race.
Which one do you like?
This is sick. What are you doing?
Come on, John. I'll give you a free bet on this one.
Can't believe you're doing this.
I quite like trap five. Seems eager.
Stan.
Go!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Told you. Trap five. This is disgusting.
Oh, lighten up, John. It's just a little flutter.
Come on, Stan. Give me back my wedding ring. Please. I'm begging you.
Now, I'm not an unreasonable person.
Maybe I could offer you a solution.
Go on. Anything.
Oi. Just let me do this one more bet,
and you can have anything you want.
Unfortunately, you have nothing to bet with.
You can have anything you want as a stake, Stan. Just name it.
Anything?
Anything.
Okay. What about you?
What do you mean, what about me? You.
You put yourself up as a stake. I don't get it.
Your soul.
What?
Your soul. That's the stake for the bet.
What are you talking about, my soul? You can't bet on a soul.
That's the stake. Take it or leave it, John.
All right. What the fuck. I don't even believe in the soul anyway.
So come on then. What's the bet?
Think you'll like this one.
Bruno?
Oh, what the fuck are you doing?
Stop!
Freddie's not looking so good, is he, John?
I said what the fuck are you doing with him?
One last bet. That's what you wanted.
So here it is, double or quits.
What's he doing here?
Isn't it obvious? He's the bet.
- Wh-What are you doing? - Relax. There's nothing in there.
- What are you doing? - Nothing but air.
So what's the bet? Simple, really.
Chances are Freddie's not gonna get any better.
So I'm betting you can't do the decent thing...
send him on his way.
What, kill him?
Such a brutal way of putting it.
All you have to do is push the plunger down...
and the oxygen bubbles in his bloodstream...
will send him off quickly and peacefully.
Really, you'll be doing him a favor.
Fuck off! I'm not gonna kill Freddie.
Then you lose the bet and I take your soul.
Take my soul? What's that even supposed to mean, Stan?
If you lose, you'll be beholden to Stan for the rest of your mortal span and beyond.
You're hers.
You can't be serious.
Do you think I want to be here, with her?
You think I enjoy any of this?
Fucking hell.
You wanted a bet, John. So what are you gonna do, huh?
- I'm not gonna kill Freddie. - Then you're mine.
No, I'm not yours. Then kill Freddie.
No. You're insane. I'm not doing it.
Bet's a bet, John.
I could make it so you win every time.
I'm not killing him. What else do you have left, huh?
Helen's gone.
I'll win her back.
You've lost her...
and your unborn son.
- I can't kill him. - I could give you more money than you've ever dreamt of.
- No. - You could start again. You could find a new wife.
- No, I'm not listening to you. - All you have to do is the merciful thing, really.
No.
Then you're mine.
Stop saying that!
You've lost everything. You have nothing left here, John.
Why are you doing this to us?
You do it to yourselves.
This is your last chance, John.
Kill Freddie, and you could have anything you want.
Don't do it, and you're mine.
It's time to make a decision.
Time's up. Kill him.
You're mine now, John.
Get the fuck away from my dad!
You come near him, and I'll kill you.
I doubt it.
But it's okay. I've got what I wanted.
You lost, John.
Come on, boys.
I'm s...
I'm so sorry.
See you around, John.
For the first two weeks, I turned up at 10:00 AM,
until someone pointed out work started at 9:00.
I had no idea.
I thought everywhere opened the same time as the bookies.
Do I like the job? No. I hate it.
Hi. My name's Rob. I'm a compulsive gambler.
And I joined Gamblers Anonymous, tried to make sense of everything that happened.
And sometimes they won, sometimes they lost.
Mainly they lost.
For a while, I was on Freddie's sofa.
He got better pretty quick.
The old bugger even started getting out of the house.
Then, thank God, I graduated to our own sofa.
And then finally she let me back into bed.
Stan never turned up again.
And we never went near the track, just in case.
Don't know if I believe in the soul and whether I've lost it.
But I do know life will never be normal again...
and I know Helen still doesn't really trust me.
But hopefully, one day soon,
when the baby comes, our luck will change.
Just don't ask me to bet on it.
Boys, I told you the market couldn't keep going on like that,
but you didn't listen.
So, double or quits, like we agreed.
Two of these have parachutes.
One of them has Bruno's lunch.
Really can't beat those odds.